It's just after midnight. Susan's birthday is just passed. Most of her birthdays were spent in this house. I didn't see her on this birthday but my heart was with her. I made her sad on some of them but mostly happy. The sad times I regret, the happy times I treasure. A mother shouldn't make a child sad, or leave their side. I wish I could replace the lost times but it can't be. It makes the present more urgent. Saturday I'll have both my children and all of my grandchildren in the house. The house doesn't age when at least one of them is here. When they all leave it settles back into real time. It's timeless in these early morning hours, John Michael is asleep in Susan's old room and I'm awake in his.
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