New Year's Eve

I'm spending New Year's Eve reading Wendell Berry. What better way to start a new year. Olivia is asleep upstairs. Kristin, Elizabeth and Leah are probably asleep in Georgetown. I wish they were all here.

Children in the house

Both of our children are sleeping in the house tonight. All four of our granddaughters are also asleep here. John Wayne is sleeping. I'm awake. The only sound is the soft whir of the computer and occasionally I can hear ice hitting the windows. If I turn on the flood light at the back of the house I can see the snow blowing. The cars are covered. For some reason I'm warmer tonight than usual. My foot doesn't hurt as bad and my chest doesn't feel so heavy. Maybe it's because the children are here. For supper we had fried potatoes, pinto beans, and cornbread. Mama is sleeping a short way up the street and down the road. Or she was sleeping, maybe she isn't now. We used to all sleep at her house, now we sleep here. I don't want to live to be old. Christmas has crept up on me, I knew it was coming but I couldn't get ready. It will come and go whether I'm ready or not. John Michael, Kristin and I will try and go shopping tomorrow. I may have to shop for boots before anything else. The wind has whipped up and I can hear the flag flapping on the porch. I have to sleep. But also need to stay awake to keep the creepies away. Susan bought all the girls gum boots to wear in the snow. The babies are so funny. We can't call them babies much longer. Kristin and Elizabeth wear adult size boots!

I'm sleepy now, hopefully will still be sleepy when I go to bed. Quilts keep us all warm tonight and help us remember.

Sleep

Can't sleep and I have to be in Owensboro at 7:30 for some sort of stress test that requires fasting. I'm not sure what that is about. Guess I'll find out.

Kristin's wrist

Kristin has broken her left wrist. It is the 5th break she has had in about 4 years. She gets her cast tomorrow.

Porch Cat

Several months ago a skinny, sickly cat began hanging around the house. I thought he couldn't possible live long so I fed him to make his last days bearable. Many days he could barely walk and ate very little. Twice I made plans to take him to the vet to be put to sleep. Each time he disappeared just when I was ready to leave. Maybe he had a sixth sense. The last time I planned to take him he was gone for a daya nd a half. I had even gotten the pet carrier out of the basement and called the vet. When he came back after that close call he looked much better. Since then he has gained weight and his winter caot is thick and warm. He wants to be a house cat but he needs to be neutered first. JW says he can't come in but maybe he will feel sorry for him when the weater is really cold. I think he would be a fine lap cat. He appeares to have some age on him, rarely venturing away from the house He may hide for days if he gets wind of the neutering. His left ear is bent, probably from a fight in his younger days and sometimes his upper lip hangs on his front tooth. He sits like this looking into the hall from the porch and I have a hard time not letting him come in. I'm sure he will eventually make his way from the porch to the house. But we'll always call him Porch Cat.

Books that came home with me

  Square Books: Had A Good Time Robert Olen Butler   signed   An Oxford Sketchbook Watercolors by Wyatt Waters   Square Books remainders: La France De Profil Photographs of Paul Strand Commentary by Claude Roy   Haunter of Ruins The Photographs of Clarence John Laughlin   Spanish Trail Books - Biloxi: Matinee Tomorrow Fifty Years of Our Theater Ward Morehouse   signed   Magnolia Blossoms Loretta Smith   signed   Pass Christian Books - Pass Christian, MS: The Salt Line Elizabeth Spencer   On The Gulf Elizabeth Spencer with the art of Walter Anderson   Hurricane Camille Monster Storm of the Gulf Coast Philip D. Hearn   signed   Warmly Inscribed Lawrence and Nancy Goldstone   signed by both and their daughter   Walking Through Shadows   ARC Bev Marshall   signed   Right As Rain   ARC Bev Marshall   signed   Witnessing Ellen Douglas    to be mailed after her signing   The Horn Island Logs of Walter Inglis Anderson edited by Redding S. Sugg, Jr.   Along the Coast A reprint Originally published by the L&N Railroad in 1895   From Beauvoir - The Last Home of Jefferson Davis Beauvior A Walk Through History   Walter Anderson Museum  Ocean Springs, MS A Painter's Psalm The Mural from Walter Anderson's Cottage Redding S. Sugg, Jr.   Arcadia Books   - New Orleans the people, yes Photographs and Notes by Jerome Liebling   Southern Photographs William Christenberry   some little gas station/quick pick sort of thing, somewhere in MS Kafka's Last Love The Mystery of Dora Diamant Kathi Diamant  (no relation)

Books in New Orleans

I loved being surrounded by all these books in New Orleans!!

Mississippi Gulf Coast

Our trip to the Mississippi Gulf Coast was over all too soon. We arrived after dark on Saturday October 9. It was raining and we had no idea where we were going. The traffic was heavy and we quickly realized we were in the middle of the Cruisin' the Coast group. We found a room at the first place we stopped. Supper was hash browns and waffles at the Waffle House. I have to say it was really good. I guess that shows how hungry we were. Watching the cars was fun and the rain slowed. The rain was heavier on Sunday morning. We couldn't check into the hotel until afternoon so we drover up the coast. The farther we got from Biloxi and Gulfport the more I liked the area. Storms had blown sand all over the road, backhoes were scooping it up and putting it in dump trucks. The wind from the gulf was blustery and I got out of the car to let it blow in my face. I could have stayed in the wind all day. We found a bookstore in Pass Christian, making me anxious to visit it later. I found out later I could have gone in on Sunday. We checked into the hotel around 3 and found it all to our liking. I was especially happy to see the soaking tub. Later we rode the shuttle to the conference site and talked to several people. On Monday morning John Wayne went to the exhibit hall and I ventured out to look for Spanish Trail Bookstore. After asking for directions 3 times I found it and it was well worth the trouble. I stopped to go through Beauvior, the last home of Jefferson Davis. After having a fine there I drove to Pass Christian and made my first visit to Pass Christian Books. Another visit was to follow on Tuesday. It was full of treasures. After that book stop I went to Ocean Springs to the Walter Anderson Art Museum. I loved every thing in it and did some Christmas shopping. If I can bear to part of any of it! At night we went to look around in the casino, no gambling for us. We had fun watching the old ladies play the slots. On Wednesday morning we checked out of the hotel and drove to New Orleans. Walking the streets was fun and we found a couple of book stores, Faulkner House Books and Arcadia Bookstore. We then had beignets at the Cafe du Monde before heading toward KY.  

On our way to Biloxi we went through Oxford MS to visit Square Books and Rowan Oak, the home of William Faulkner. I loved walking through the house and grounds. It was a quiet place that had a life of its own.

Several wonderful books came home with me. I'll list them in the next entry.

Fast Internet

We added DSL to our internet service tonight. Now that I have it I can't think of anything I'm in a hurry to know. Olivia is asleep on the air bed. She had a hard time going to sleep, I guess she her nap a little too late. She watched a Sesame Street video twice before she fell asleep. I'm cold so guess I will freeze to death when it really gets cold.

Susan says the girls had good days at school. Leah didn't get time-out. At 17 months old I wonder how much good it can do. But guess it can't hurt.

I must get things ready to go to Biloxi. Hopefully the weather will be warm and dry. No idea what clothes to take. I need to take several books. I don't want to be caught with a little time and nothing to read.

The flowers at the edge of Mama's garden still look fresh and new. She tells me about the flowers that grew there when she was a little girl. Peonies, lilac bushes, she says any flowers grew if Muddy threw them on the ground. She takes after her mother, though, the seeds die before they hit the ground. I can make things grow if I try. I haven't touched a flower or herb for 2 years. Maybe next spring the garden bug will bite me. I can remember peonies growing in our yard when I was little. But Daddy kept mowing them down. Usually just as they were about to bloom. Easter flowers were everywhere but only a few have survived, or have been replanted.

The hour is getting late and I need to read.

Fat Ankle

I have swollen ankles, especially the left one. I may have to drag out the old crutch. I substituted in the 4th grade today so didn't sit down at all except for lunch. I had a good day, the kids were great. I need to sink into a book. I think I want to read The Egyptologist. I saw a signed arc on amazon so may order it later. No babies tonight but Olivia will be here tomorrow. I'll miss Kristin, Elizabeth, and Leah since they have been here the last 2 weekends. I like to have them all together. Next weekend is my class reunion and the next weekend we go to Biloxi. I hope I find a signed book by Eudora Welty. I've been thinking about my I Am From poem and think I might write one that tells about me now or at least as an adult. But it might be too sad. I'm studying on it. I need to work on pictures. But too tired tonight. If I had a cold bowl I would eat some multi grain cherrios. I don't like cereal in a warm bowl. I misspelled warm as worm. A worm bowl, that is an idea. Off to read.  

Can't sleep

Can't sleep tonight and I have to be up and out the door in the morning to teach 4th grade. Today I was a substitute special ed teacher. It seems the house is too quiet. No babies sleeping beside me. Can't seem to settle on what to read. I need a serious book store visit, I guess. I could just stack the books I have here that are unread and pretend I am in a bookstore. I could pay with shekels like Kristin and Elizabeth use when they play bookstore. Maybe poems would calm me, maybe I should write one. Some thoughts:

unable to sleep

stretched arteries

clots of blood

that pain in my chest

shhhhh

shade trees

lop-sided failing to shelter/shield

letting in unwanted spirits

fear

shhhhh

'night

No need for fear. Sleep now.

Arthur Dalton House

Robert Altoona

Today and yesterday Mama and I were able to spend time with our long time friend, Bob. John Michael left us his jeep on Monday and we made a trek on White Rd. to see the remains of the Arthur Dalton house. Turning the motor off we were able to listen to nothing but quiet. No phones, no tv, no motors. It didn't last long since we all three tend to talk at the same time. The Dalton house is in ruins, the roof falling in, the walls buckling. Enough of the house is left to let us know how wonderful it once was. In places daylight can be seen straight through from back to front and from side to side. When the leaves have fallen the house will be more visible from the front. The trees hide most of that part of the house. It's impossible to know if the house had a front porch. I would guess that it did, with posts holding up the overhang, shading the Daltons on hot summer afternoons. Arthur's wife was named Susannah, Susannah Dalton, I like the name. A good name for a story. White Rd. passes the Dalton house to dead end at a sewage treatment facility. Turning around and driving back toward the highway we were able to see the sunlight filtering through the trees on both sides of the road. Gullies go up and down the hillsides filled with rocks smoothed by heavy downpours.

Bob will be returning to Iowa in the morning and it will probably be months before he is back. Mama and I look forward to his visits and lament his leaving. Today we laughed about the silly things we used to do. They used to pick me up at school , blindfold me, and make me guess where they were takingme. I could never guess, but the destination was always unusual. It seems like things aren't so carefree anymore. And I'm sure it wasn't that carefree for them then. I had stresses then too but I mostly remember the fun we had traveling over country roads in Bob's silver Comet. Not long after he got it I threw gum out the window where it stuck and strung all over the car when I rolled down the window to get it. He probably snashes his teeth to this day but he didn't say a word.

Some of the best things I know were learned from Bob during the time he stayed at our house. The recordings of Broadway musicals that he left with me when he moved away are still part of my collection of my favortie music. Some of the funniest things happened when Bob was around and also some of the saddest things I ever heard were told by him. Even now he has the ability to make me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time.

He called me Little Sister when he stayed with us and I sometimes I still sign e-mails to him with it. He's a good big brother.

Olivia is sleeping in the living room. I'll take her upstairs later. She may have to sleep a bit with her Da-da before she can settle in on her bed next to mine.

I don't know what I want to read. I've looked at books tonight and can't seem to zero in on anything. I'm sure that will change before I go to bed, I have to read before sleep.

It's just days now until we go to Biloxi. I'll have to think about clothes and more importantly, what books I want to take. My goal in Biloxi is to buy a book signed by Eudora Welty. Surely I can find one.

Sleeping Babies

Olivia and Leah are sleeping on their couches. I'm going to sleep on my couch beside them. They are so peaceful and sleeping so quietly. When they wake up in the morning it will be a different story. They will be excited to see each other. Olivia was sleeping before I got back from Bardstown with Leah so she doesn't know she is here. Porch Cat was sickly this morning but was missing by the time I got an appointment with the vet. He hasn't reappeared. I hope he hasn't died under the house. We would have to move. Maybe he will show up tomorrow. He must know he was going to the vet and would probably come back dead. Tonight Mama cooked green beans, fried corn and potatoes. It was so good, the best thing I've eaten for days. I must go to sleep, I'm beginning to see ghosts moving around.   

Four generations

We were four generations at church this morning. Mama, me, John Michael, and Olivia. We range in age from 85 to almost 2. Olivia played in my purse during most of the service. She wadded up the bills and dropped the change on the floor. The chewing gum was hot in her mouth but she wanted 2 pieces which she spit out into a baby wipe. How could we live without baby wipes? She had a really good time with a toothpick she found in my purse. I'm sure the people behind us had fun watching her. Olivia always enjoys the music and she wasn't interested in anything else during the whole music service. With  both the choir and orchestra she had lots of good music to hear. After church we ate Mexican food. But first we stopped at McDonald's for french fries for Olivia. She ate chips too. We had fajitas which were mighty fine. Olivia wanted to visit Mammo, which is what she has named her great-grandmother. So they listened to music, Olivia jumped on the bed and played with her toys. Mama's house is quickly taking on the appearance of a house with children, which it has always been. My stress level is high tonight. I can't seem to get calm. Maybe some quiet music and something calm to read will help. John Wayne is in Louisville until Wednesday attending the KY Rural Water Association meeting. In October we go to Biloxi to the national conference. The sunshine wasn't right for making pictures. Hopefully I can get some shots this week on the road going from Hartford to Livermore. I saw 2 houses that are just perfect. The larger of the two has curtains in the windows and the lawn has been tended. I wonder what stories it will tell me. I didn't get all of my walking done today. Maybe I'll be ambitious and walk early in the morning. Maybe not.

What I'm reading: Kettle Bottom by Diane Fisher

What worries me: John Michael

Who I miss: Susan

Where I would like to be: Jerusalem

Reading

I finished reading A HOME AT THE END OF THE WORLD by Michael Cunningham. It took a turn at the end that I didn't like but it had to happen. No happy endings, I guess. I marked several passages where I found pieces of wisdom or just thoughts that I liked and moved me almost to tears but not quite. Olivia is asleep in the house. I sleep better with a baby in the house. I know I have to sleep to be ready for her when she needs me. This afternoon Olivia went to visit Mama, her great-grandmother. She calls her Mammo, I guess that is a close spelling of Olivia's take on Grandmama. She likes to go there to jump on the bed and wade in the branch. She also likes to write, play with dolls, and push a toy grocery cart full of her favorite things. She is never in a hurry to leave Mammo, waving bye-bye until the house is out of sight. Olivia also says bye-bye Honey to us all. That lets me know how many of us call her honey. She's a lucky little girl to be able to visit her great-grandmother. Passers-by would be easily fooled when they see Mama's yard. It has again taken on the appearance of a place full of children. And if they looked inside they would be certain that children lived in the house. What do I read now? I'm catching up with my Bible reading and by tomorrow I'll be back on track. Now I'm reading Ezekiel. Getting ready to read Chapter 37 about the Valley of the Dry Bones. Leah got a bad bump on her head today. Reminded me of the marble top table falling on her, scaring me half to death. The marble is still on the floor where it will probably be until Leah and Olivia are grown. I'm heading upstairs to read and hopefully to sleep.

What I might read: Kettle Bottom by Diane Fisher (for the second time)

What I'm thinking: I have so many books I want to read that I don't know where to start.

What I'm worrying about: My granddaughters and the trials they face.

 

Kafka

On 22 January 1922 Kafka wrote in his journal - Nocturnal resolve.

I understand this all too well. In the middle of the night I can compose wonderful passages in my journal. I can see the broad strokes of green ink on a page of cream parchment. and hear the scritch-scratch of the nib as I record my innermost thoughts. But, in the morning, search though I may, the ink has vaporated and I have lost those pieces of wisdom. I plod through days knowing this journal is neglected. So it has my attention now. I hope it holds me fast.

This past Monday Mama and I went to Owensboro for various meanderings. We ended up on the bank of the Ohio River. We had our sandwiches from Lic's, Mama eating chicken salad and me with my favorite Gourmet Sub, minus the corned beef (shudder, shudder). The day was just right, the river intriguing, reminding me of Bohannan Cartwright, although he navigated the Green River. Mama's stories of her trips to the river bank when she was a child delighted me and made me frantic to get these stories on paper. She related their trip from Fordsville, some 25 miles. It was the rare trip that failed to see flat tires or a steaming radiator. A cloudburst could nearly hide the tires in mud. My mother and each of her three brothers received a quarter for spending money. Mama always spent her money in the first store. Once they stopped at the grocery first and Mama spent her quarter on 2 peaches and a canteloupe. Then she was sad so her Poppa slipped her a dime, since she was the only girl. When they went to the dime store her brothers would play with the toy cars, rolling them all over the floor making motor sounds. Pole, as she called her father, would take a nap on a park bench, covering his face with his hat. Now there is a wrought iron fence that keeps visitors from toppling over the edge into the river. Mama says there was no such protection then and wonders how they all kept from drowning. We left the river bank to make the dreaded walmart trip. The experiences were strikingly different. Down by the river my mother took me into her world during a time that she remembers with such clarity. On our way home we tried to forget walmart!!

What I'm Reading: A Home at the End of the World by Michael Cunningham

What I'm Thinking: I wish all my granddaughters were here with me.

What I'm Neglecting: My Bible Reading (but I'm working on it!!)

Mama just called so we are going to the dollar store. One more in our series of treks.

Shalom

hello this is alice

i go to go clean bye

Babies

Leah is going home to Georgetown tomorrow night. I have been with her since Wednesday and can hardly stand for her to go home. Olivia will be here tomorrow night and Wednesday. Such wonderful babies. Leah is 13 months old and Olivia is 20 months. Leah has 2 sisters, Kristin, 11 and Elizabeth, 7.

Lightning hit our satellite and knocked out the odd channels. No Aaron Brown tonight. Lightning has hit us during the last three storms.

My current read is Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi although I have read very little. My time is spent with Leah and Olivia. I can read when they are not here. I am keeping up my Bible reading and am now in the Book of Job.

The cats are sound asleep and won't move until morning. Porch Cat will be anxious for morning and his breakfast. He stays outside but I am tempted to let him in the house. It seems to be his greatest desire.

 

Initial Entry

Good Evening,

     First entry of new journal.  Look back later for thoughts and reading list.

                                              A